Drowning Once More

Missed opportunities harass me
breaking my carefully crafted dam,
allowing a barrage of doubt to
assault and drown my mind.

I struggle to float and see light
amid the tumbling crests crashing
over me and forcing me deeper
into the dark depths.

Only violent kicks and strokes
allow me to gain breath
and slowly start to surface
from my self-imposed storm.

Time passes

Now settled seas are peaceful
letting me gently float,
slowly bobbing up and down in
my mind's warm tranquility.

I am finally satisfied with my
past actions and decisions
and can once more begin working
on rebuilding my emotional barricade.

I will build it bigger, stronger
and take more precautions,
but none of my efforts will
change the reality of life.

It will break once more